Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize