But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
