I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
