The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
