why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
