Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
