i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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