yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
