you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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