mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
smell my finger.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
