a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
