i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Green mimosas i think yes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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