Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
