Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Randomize
