Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
