I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
