he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
