my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
