So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
