Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
