I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
