I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
