What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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