$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
