After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
