Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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