In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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