Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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