fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
