so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
