I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she told me i tasted like america
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
