Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
