perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
