you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
BRING THE BAGELS
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
