Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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