he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
