I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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