Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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