Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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