He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
