Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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