You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
