I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
