I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
