Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The power of my boobs compel you
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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