Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
