so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
