Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
