Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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