So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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