The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
