The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
